Inspiration.Insight.Fortitude.

All this LOVE will do unto you....

2011-01-26T00:53:00.000-08:00

Kahlil Gibran on Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Why not be happy now?

2010-08-30T17:47:00.000-07:00

“Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained.”-Nathaniel Hawthorne

It's amazing what you can go through and be alright. Being happy takes work. It takes guts! Happiness comes from within. It comes from living, loving and learning, not only from ourselves, but from those around us as well. I choose thoughts that make me feel good and not miserable. It it amazed even me the exceptional resilience that I and others have shown themselves to be after experiencing trauma or trying times. No doubt the trials initially felt like they were trying to get the best of me. However, I felt inclination to shake it off and not wallow. After several girlfriend meetings, lots of cocktails, much prayer, karaoke nights, comedy shows and three vacations later, I feel as good as new. I feel as though, there is most definitely a natural set point that we each gravitate towards.

Who doesn't want to live a fulfilling and Happy life? We miss out on the happiness that is right in front of us being tormented by what we don't yet have or have not yet accomplished. It is ridiculous. We dwell on the mistakes we've made and the mistakes of others. However, our missteps don't define us.

We are not autonomous robots with singular emotions. There are other emotions to reckon with as well, fear, sadness anger. But, just because we're sad, that doesn't mean we're not also marvelously comical and

transcendentally courageous.

I Go To The Hills... when my Heart is lonely

2010-07-25T11:03:00.000-07:00

This movie possesses many parallels for me in my own life, which I will get to at a later time. For now, it's safe to say we all need a musical or visual refuge from time to time. This is one of my personal favorites. I've seen it well over 30 times.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? In my humble and personal opinion. You can't! and you don't! But, then again why would you want to?

The Element of Freedom

2010-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

"even if you're a million miles away I can still feel you in my bed..."

To say that, I love Alica Keys would be a huge understatement. New look, straight hair, new attitude. WOW! I think the video concept behind the song "Try sleeping With a Brokenheart" is super awesome! Keys is portrayed as a superhero with healing abilities, but is unable to be with the man she loves because her powers in a cruel and ironic twist of fate can harm him. Some might say it's cliche, but I love it. I conveys the intended message. I love the whole super hero theme and truth be told it's done in a subtle manner. No cape, no grandiose feats. Just her having to resist him because she can hurt him and using her healing powers around the city wherever needed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...You can't save everyone! But, why is it that the one person she really cares to defend and protect she can't?

Purple. Purple and more Purple! I love it! I like the song itself, which I think has a slightly different tone than the video. Of course I have the album! Whatever, you think about the video: who cares she is Alicia she can do anything she damn well pleases!!

The Bark --

2010-02-10T23:51:00.000-08:00

No more stress,now im straight,

now I get it now I take

Time to think,

before I make mistakes

just for my family's sake

That part of me left yesterday

the heart of me is strong today

No regrets Im blessed to say

the old me dead and gone away.

I turn my head to the east

I don't see nobody by my side

I turn my head to the west

still nobody in sight

So, I turn my head to the north,

swallow that pill

that they call pride

The old me is dead and gone,

the new me will be alright (T.I)

I have chosen to take the lemons handed to me by life and make nothing less than a nice tall pitcher of freshly squeezed-chilled-sweet lemonade. I've made the conscious decision not to go around life with a bad attitude poking at others with my pain and disappointment. I take credit for having done nothing particularly other than winning the genetic lottery of coping skills, resiliency and adaptation. Yep, Darwin himself would of been proud at my rapid natural selection process of skills and abilities. But, you have to look no further than the country I am from and my ancestry to begin to understand the faith, family and sheer divine force, that grounds me. I am NOT a dweller. I quick assess, and if it isn't improving my life, becomes a nuisance or only serves to make me vulnerable to the elements than I don't need it. It's the MJ-Toss/Keep Method.

Coming from another country and having to be in a radically new environment teaches you to look at the world through a different set of eyes. The type of thing, that you can only understand or relate to by actually having gone through it yourself. I was also the middle child in a rather large family. When you are surrounded by a splendid array of personalities from the onset you generally tend to develop a high tolerance for people in general. A great majority of the time, it takes me a real long time to get to a boiling point, where I will become visibly irritated with someone. Small, petty matters generally don't irritate me. Why? It is just is in my biology and my psychological makeup. Plus, I get it's that it's "Human Nature" for others to annoy sometimes. Not to mention, I don't have to generate drama from a mundane thing such as having to wait on line at the back or someone spilling coffee, so what?

On a regular day, it takes an exceptionally socially inept or dysfunctional individual to truly activate my impatient side. Now, if I am already or pissed off or annoyed, that's a whole other scenario. I can fight with you over a pair of gloves at that point. At this time, I'd specifically like to thank all the emotional imbeciles who have crossed my path. You've given me much fuel for this rant. Politically correct I will not always be, and so for those of you who feel in so doing I am being self-indulgent or for whatever reason you are rubbed the wrong way by this content delete me, if you must. I have never been a brown noser or eye-licker. This is not for the dull-witted or artistically dead. With that being said, we can chillax. (yes. corny, I know)

Looking back now, some of the thorny and nettlesome experiences, that have now led to this level of emotional refinement would have probably sent the ordinary person howling to the nut house. Given that many, have been reduced to anger, bitterness, depression and and a host of other maladies far more complicated, when beset with the harsh realities and chronic frustrations of life. I count myself among the exceptionally healthy, sane and lucky, at this point because scenarios that have been intended to deprave have only emboldened me.

I am armed with sharp clever mind and a pen. So, buffoons beware. I have been blessed with an arsenal of lessons, that should carry and serve me well through life.
I share freely an openly wherever I am at the that particular moment in time or what my soul wants to let out. So this for me is part leisure/part mental decompression/part knowledge sharing. So, welcome to my smorgasbord. On somethings, I look back and get mad and yet others sad, but I have no regrets whatsoever and I can proudly say: I have never been scared to live or try even if it meant making a complete fool of myself. However, Critics are the arrows in my quiver. A good friend once said, cliche as it is "Let your haters be your motivators" And hopefully, we know by now, that "haters" are oppositional people who for absolutely no good a reason do not wish for your well-being or success. This could be driven by a multitude of reasons, but let's go with the familiar ones. A) By cutting others down or deflating them they gain perceived emotional leverage.  B) By acting larger than life and stealing the show and name-dropping themselves when they roll out their list of accomplishments to quickly let you know just exactly how important they are and how insignificant you are.   Either approach they do it because they are insecure and pretty much miserable.

This just in:
NEVER MIND WHAT HATERS SAY IGNORE THE TIL THEY FADE TO GRAY. Just had to get that out. With all due respect, a critic is nothing more than someone who can't do what you are doing and as time to sit around pointing out flaws in your armor. I borrowed that one from Martin Lawrence. What I say is: look for all the chinks you want, while I get busy building. And trust me, I am busy building.  Try and follow the chain of logic, which I am constructing here, my bottom line is the person without ideas doesn't get to sit around picking apart the ideas of others without ever offering up anything. But, I digress here is my offering. My creation.

I created this for those who didn't have the words to speak, nor the tears to weep nor the air in their lungs to gasp. This is for the ones who were left in the shadows of their shell shock and abandoned in their despair. The ones they counted out and thought wouldn't stand a chance. Through the fears and tears and frustration you will have a voice. Past the restless anguish and the unspeakable joy, you will emerge triumphant time and time again. Though my story and my humanity, my hope is that one day you too will be heard. My prayer is that the world will come to know you and hear you. They will feel the sharp bite of your elocution and your piercing bark will be the siren by which the lowly and brave will answer the rallying call of duty.  They will never forget the Underdog's voice. Hot Shit. ^_~ Signing off--The Underdog

When the Saints Go Marching in!!

2010-02-08T15:54:00.000-08:00

31-17 the Saints won their first Super Bowl in NFL History. Who dat? The New Orlean Saints, that's who!! They can do whatever they want right now. Of course, I don't have to tell you, how much, I love the story the Saints being from New Orleans and being the Underdogs of the situation. They played with pride because they were playing not only for themselves, but for their city. They mirror their city in many ways for their resilience and for doing what so many were expecting them not to be able to do. I'm still smiling about it. How you gon be Christian and not root for the Saints? haha It was great because my brother finally explained football to me, so it was a fun game to watch for sure. Not to mention all the great commercials in between. The biggest and most watched game in history. 106 million viewers to be exact. You'd have to be on Mars, sitting in a cave, with your eyes shut, and your fingers jammed into your ears to have missed it. Yes, it was a good game, no argument there, and it was the outcome for which I was hoping. :)--Very inspired, signing off--The Underdog ~

STRONG and RESILIENT: It's in our SPIRIT. It's in our BLOOD. It's in our DNA. It's in our HISTORY.

2010-02-01T11:19:00.000-08:00

“But the prejudice of race alone blinded the American people for the debt they owed to the desperate courage of 500,000 Haitian Negroes who would not be enslaved.”-Henry Adams

Yes mourn, but do so actively. Do not pity yourself. Do not become a weakened by depression. You are no good to anyone that way. Look around you, there is much to be done. STAY STRONG so we can get it done. Heal yourselves and get strong. There is no time to rest. The time for lowered heads and eyes filled with tears is over. What happen to TET Wo! Heads high? What happen to Always forward and onward? Anavant MARCHE? Remember that?

Let's HOLD IT TOGETHER PEOPLE. Come on. Let us UNITE and let's lift these PEOPLE UP!! It will be up to us the DIASPORA. When the Hype is gone and the ashes remain. We must be there to pick up the pieces. Let's go hard for HAITI like our Ancestors went hard for us.

Haitians DON'T back down and we DON'T RETREAT. Even, when it looks like we are receding, it's merely a defense tactic. We may fall back for a while. Lick our wounds for a while, but ONLY to come back bigger, stronger and fight from a higher platform. It is because we understand that we must lose a few battles in order to win the war. We WILL RECOVER. WE WILL COME BACK ON THE OFFENSE!!

"You keep hearing about how STRONG and RESILIENT the HAITIAN PEOPLE are...maybe you even think it's the right thing to say. NO-It's in our SPIRIT. It's in our BLOOD. It's in our DNA. It's in our HISTORY."-Salomon Laguerre.

Where my Haitians at? Grenadye alaso saki mouri zafe a yo. napren manman nanpren papa. Saki mouri zafe a yo. napren Timoun napren piti. Saki mouri zafe a yo!

Let us not forget, To us SPARTANS are NOT MADE UP CHARACTERS, you feel me. Dessaline, Toussaint, Henry Christophe. Bullets were dust to them. What is a Ghoul to Goblin? indeed lil Wayne.

Capois Lamorte the last major battle of the Haitian Revolution. Battle of Veirtiere --Anavant --Marche! FORWARD MARCH! After their FOURTH attempt the French surrendered.

He will NOT be ignored!

2010-01-30T11:33:00.000-08:00

"Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms”-Elizabeth Bowen
Don't enrage the narcissist in your life. He or she will make you pay. They don't forgive and they do not forget. These people can hold some notorious grudges folks. They believe that others are trying to spite, punish or betray them at all times. Stay calm and plan your exit. Don't give in to 'letting it all out'. Not only do narcissists not forget and they like revenge. Your 'outing' of him or her adds to his narcissistic injury. A person like this needs to look good in front of others, you making them look bad stands in the way of the image that he is the best, wealthiest, smartest, most capable person he wants tobe seen as. You stand to gain nothing by resisting them on thi level. Their grandiose image that they have layed out for themselves is something they take very seriously. They will stop at nothing to crush you in order to maintain their own standing. They are the simply the most immature people on earth!

Don't listen to those who say you are a coward for backing out, not confronting them or calling them out. Surely these people wouldn't trade places with you. What motivates these poisonous vampires is the very thing most people give them: ATTENTION. Your attention and reaction IS what they want. Don't bother explaining to friends and family because they will only try to normalize and rationalize this very abnormal behavior. Dicuss and explain later. The most important action is your exit from such a highly toxic situation. If they are kind, they will understand and forgive you anyhow. Most importantly, don't let anyone put batteries in your back or egg you on in becoming angry at, seeking sympathy or an admission of wrongdoing from him. These efforts are vain and futile. As he is incapable of comprehending the pain and anguish which he causes. Better to take the diplomatic approach. Let them think they are right. What do you have to lose?
But hey, you don't have to take my word for it. If you are feeling lucky or bored resist and call them out. Let me know how that works out for you.

Since the world revolves around him, as such he proceeds to control everyone and everything in it. There is only ONE point of view his. And he is NEVER wrong. Don't bother pointing out mistakes because perfect people dont make any. Narcissists giveth and they taketh away. If they are not your friend they truly believe you've been banished from existence and society. Why? it's hard for such individuals to understand life can STILL exist outside of themselves and their sphere of influence. Mutual friends are nothig more than spies. Afterall, god is all seeing, all knowing and all understanding. If they don't know or understand why someone behaves or reacts a certain way they will just make it up.

Looking for authenticity, depth of emotion or humility...well don't bother! There's nothing to find in the abyss devoid of comprehension masked by glib and superficial charm. These people will use you to no end and when you are exhausted they will apathetically cast you aside like yesterday's paper. Oh come now, of course they can't love you. They are in love with themselves remember?

They defy all logical and are unusually cruel. Basic emotional concepts that are readily available to the rest of us seems to somehow elude them. They really don't know why you're angry? They can't fathom not being the center of attention, not even for a moment. They lay claim to emotions that don't belong to them. Your sadness, love, rage--they need to be the object of it all. You lose your job after 10 years-they lost their gym membership last week. You broke-up with someone you care for, they broke a nail. Someone dies in your family, they can't wait to die their hair. While you aren't allowed to react to major changes and events that would upset anyone, they can react to the pettiest and most mundane of occurences and boy do they milk the drama. Everything is a production.

Here is the kicker: these bastards can't help themselves they chronically hurt the people around them and eventually, hurt themselves in the long run too. So no matter what it may look like they haven't changed. They can't change. It's part pf their psychological make-up so they are pretty much stuck this way. Since Appearances matter more than substance watching them will almost convince you they have turned over a new leaf. I promise you. They haven't. Don't waste your time or energy on these individuals because before you can say "It's NOT me it's you" They will be on to the next one. The best way to deal with the Narcissist in your life is to NOT deal with them at all.

Misconceptions That Need To Be Set Straight: The REAL DEVIL's PACT

2010-01-28T12:45:00.001-08:00

There is a fine difference between being poor and having poverty brought upon you...and while it's being thrown around just wanted to point that out.

It's like every time I hear it on the news it makes be cringe. And I want to yell at the screen well, "Biotch why do you think that is?"

Poor:
1) Lacking in value; insufficient
2)Not adequate in quality; inferior

Impoverished:
1) Reduced to poverty
2) Deprived of natural richness or strength; limited or depleted

Slave
1)a person who is owned by someone
2) one that is completely subservient to a dominating influence

Enslaved:
1)make a slave of; bring into servitude
2)make subservient; force to submit or subdue

THE REAL DEVIL PACT: Since Haiti is the ONLY AFRICAN COLONY in 1791-1804 to OVERWHELMINGLY DEFEAT a European Army, they made a pact to NEVER/EVER aid or help develop Haiti in the future!!! A way of punishing this nation for ...success against them. That is why Haiti is the poorest in the hemisphere. They NEVER wanted other blacks to EVER get the idea to do the same and were and still are TERRIFIED OF IT.

In response to Pat Roberson it's a NATURAL DISASTER YOU MORON!!!

The country is neither that large, nor is it far away. It wouldn't be that difficult to mobilize, but they don't really want that. Wonder why THAT could be?

Will you be there? Lift me up sometimes. UP sometimes!:

2010-01-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

From the genius himself this song reflects my mood at the moment. In Lieu of the recent tragedies in Haiti. The words won't come yet, so I will not be discussing it in my blog at this time. "Will You Be There"

Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend

Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
Will You Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me)
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
(Softly Then Boldly)
(Carry Me There)

(Lead Me)
(Love Me And Feed Me)
(Kiss Me And Free Me)
(I Will Feel Blessed)

(Carry)
(Carry Me Boldly)
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
(Carry Me There)

(Save Me)
(Heal Me And Bathe Me)
(Softly You Say To Me)
(I Will Be There)

(Lift Me)
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
(Carry Me Boldly)
(Show Me You Care)

(Hold Me)
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
(Softly Then Boldly)
(Carry Me There)

(Need Me)
(Love Me And Feed Me)
(Kiss Me And Free Me)
(I Will Feel Blessed)

[Spoken]
In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

Haiti!

2010-01-12T17:47:00.000-08:00

"Colors of The Wind"-Pocahontas

2010-01-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

"if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew, you never knew"--Pocahontas

You think I'm an ignorant savage. How can there be so much that you don't know? ... You think the only people, who are people- are the people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew, you never knew--sings Pocahontas. I have always loved this movie and the song the "Colors of the Wind" is one of my favorite songs of all time because of it's powerful and profound message. It reminds me of a Rachel Remen quote that states "The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.... A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words." This as always brought me inspiration I particularly like the Vanessa Williams rendition. The words give me chills because it reminds me of one poignant thing, we are all connected to each other. May it bring you inspiration as well.
signing off-The Underdog.

Almost there -The Princess Frog

2010-01-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

When your dreams turn to dust, vacuum. ~Author Unknown

Tiana isn’t born into royalty, We follow her o her journey of humble beginnings as she saves every hard-earned penny, nickel and dime she gets from her job as a Waitress. Tiana dreams of one day owning her own restaurant to fulfill a dream shared by her father who passed away. Since life isn’t going to just give it to her she’s going to have to earn it herself. Financial problems do arise though, and in an effort to get the extra cash she kisses a talking frog who claims to be a Prince. I like the song "Almost there" featured in a scene from the movie "The Princess and the Frog" were Tiana is sweeping the place she one day hopes to own and turn into her very own restaurant. She is reminding herself and her aging mother played by Ms Oprah Winfrey herself of what is at stake. Former Dreamgirl Anika Noni Rose is the lead character and voice of Tiana, Disney's first African-American heroine.
Tiana, takes an unexpected turn and leads them both on a hilarious adventure through the mystical bayous of Louisiana to the banks of the almighty Mississippi and back in time for Mardi Gras in New Orleans. An unforgettable tale filled with music, humor and heart where two frogs—along with the help of a 200-year-old voodoo priestess, a love-sick Cajun firefly, who longs for a sparkling light he calls Evangeline. and a trumpet-playing alligator who yearns to be human—discover that what they want isn’t as important as what they need. In the process, Tiana teaches a universal lesson of about trials,tribulations and persistence.

Like Watching a Train Wreck, You Know it's Gonna Be Bad, But You Just Can't turn away...

2010-01-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

We idolize celebrities. We analyze their every movement, from who they had lunch with on a particular day or what they are wearing on a night out on the town. Our cameras even follow them on vacation. We are pretty obsessed with and envious of them. Many of us would love nothing more to be living the lives they do. charmed, interesting and full of drama. A far cry from the daily doldrums we experience in our own lives. Of course we’d want this minus spotlight. Celebrities have the means to do what many of us will only ever be able to dream about doing. It seems that should all satisfy them, for this reason, when they fall it shocks and intrigues us. We neglect that they are normal human beings like the rest of us because we put them up on a pedestal. Inevitably, they are bound to make a mistake or do something incredibly stupid. And unfortunately for them, when they do the blood thirsty public awaits, usually catching them on tape that can then be replayed for the world to see over and over again. So, the question remains: why do we continue watching these young entertainers carving their own destructive paths? The rather simple answer lies in the following trifecta--money, fame and power. We are made to feel better about ourselves when these Godlike personalities topple over.

As they saying goes, the bigger they are the harder they fall. So by watching the self-destructive habits of the Britneys and Lindsays and now Tiger Woods, we are proving to ourselves that we are in essence better human beings than they are. It boosts our self-esteem to watch these people who supposedly "have it all" turn to drugs, alcohol and amoral behavior to deal with their demons. Their spectacles and foolish behaviors make us look like we should all be nominated for good citizenship awards. Frankly, we relish in the failures of others, whether it be professional or personal, because it makes us feel even better about our own accomplishments. It’s wrong, but we do it. Undeniably so, in a day where tabloids sell like hotcakes and celeb reality shows continue to maintain the rankings they do. Look at them!! They are nothing like us. Aren't they?

Your friends can make you Happy!

2010-01-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

If you’re happy and you know it, thank your friends. Today, I’m fortunate enough to know so many great people. Almost every day, I meet with people who challenge my thoughts, and sometimes even my motives. These friends also keep me motivated and encouraged. They keep me inspired and focused on my quest for fulfillment and the pursuit of my goals. We have no choice when it comes to family, but the good news is we all get to pick our friends.

So much is influenced by the company you keep. Including our moods, attitudes and even our health. That's right you are more likely to develop bad eating habits and pick up vices, if your friends have them. Recently, researchers have come to understand that social groups can influence health in more subtle ways as well, in people of all ages.
Friendships and peer groups provide more than simple companionship. Strong friendships may become the most important relationships you have, particularly during times of stress and change. In addition, we can be made happy by our friends. if they have joy we vicariously tend to experience that joy. We definitely benefit from a sort of positive peer pressure. Good habits and attitudes stick also, but not as easily as the bad ones. We also, care a lot more about how people within our “inner circle” perceive us than most of us would like to admit. That is because they know us best flaws and all. Research at Harvard Science has shown,
"Happiness is a collective phenomenon that spreads through social networks like an emotional contagion..."

In a study that looked at the happiness of nearly 5,000 individuals over a period of 20 years, researchers found that when an individual becomes happy, the network effect can be measured up to three degrees. One person’s happiness triggers a chain reaction that benefits not only their friends, but their friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends. The effect lasts for up to one year. The flip side, interestingly, is not the case: Sadness does not spread through social networks as robustly as happiness. Happiness appears to love company more so than misery.

What kind of friend are you? Do you inspire, motivate, elevate and support those who are the closest to you?

Having close relationships is one of the biggest keys to happiness. Four to five friends who you can discuss important problems with, makes you much more likely to be happy. Making those close friends is one of the most difficult things to do in your life. For one, it takes time. While it's possible to instantly connect with someone; it's impossible to share all the hopes, dreams, thoughts and moments that truly bring together two friends. Also, it takes trust. Trust that those friends will be there for you. Trust that those friends will give you good advice, and trust that your friends have your best interests at heart.Lately, I have realized that they are often right, or at least have a strong point which I should consider before moving forward. Even though they might mock me, or disagree with me, they do so because they want to make sure I do not end up hurting myself or someone else. I thank them for their foresight.

Friends make you happy! Yup, it's true.

I need my Compartments!

2010-01-11T05:24:00.000-08:00

For all my effervescence, gregarious perspective and openness, sometimes I get a little worked up over the commingling of friends.

Most of the time, the mixing of my social circles is wonderful. We explore new places, give birth to new ideas and conversations, and revive common passions.

But sometimes the introduction of one group of people to another leads to nothing good.

It's almost as if I wish I had one of those grade school lunch trays - you know, the ones with the compartments that keep the runny mashed potatoes-and-gravy away from the dry, overcooked dressing and the watery green beans.

Because sometimes I want to enjoy my mashed potatoes and gravy all by itself. Sometimes I think it tastes great with a couple green beans. Sometimes I want to mix it all into one big, flavorful mess.

All analogies aside, I guess I prefer keeping most of my social circles apart because they appeal to different facets of my personality.

I am most protective of my "inner circle" of friends. These are the people with whom I feel most comfortable being exactly as I am - brainy, bawdy, boisterous. These friends do not threaten, intimidate or make me feel inadequate.

My Inner Circle pushes me to be the best I can be, while enjoying the best out of life. I've discovered I don't feel quite as good about myself when the Inner Circle is watered down by variables from the "outside."

Another wonderful social segment - my social media peeps. These are people who I "know" because we've developed a relationship through blogging, Twitter and other online social applications. I know some of these people in real life, and others I just know by avatar and handle.

I love my social media peeps because they mostly appeal to my intellectual side. Many of these brilliant individuals share my political beliefs - reviving my conviction and passions. Others demonstrate specific expertise or interests that either compliment my own or inspire me to learn more.

A few of my social media people are simultaneously grouped into the IC, but most belong to a wonderful group all their own.

My social circle involves still other groups of people - individuals I see casually and infrequently and people with whom I've failed to form a deeper connection.

These people are fun and an important aspect of my social frame of reference, but I hold some of them at arm's length.

As if you haven't realized by now, I am quite protective of the people with whom I reveal my truest self.

A few weeks ago, a man who is both in my IC and one of my social media peeps referred to this very dynamic. He said he initially thought it would be wonderful if, "Everyone knew everyone."

His voice trailed off and conceded, sometimes it's just easier to compartmentalize some social groups.

I appreciated his honesty; sometimes I wondered if I was the only one who was selfish (is it selfish?) enough to prefer this separation.

But then, sometimes, I wonder who is keeping me away from a social circle I don't even know about.

Kate the Great / CC BY-NC-ND 3.0

I could not have said that more perfectly myself, signing off the Underdog

Let it go! Let it Go! Let it GO!

2010-01-04T19:22:00.000-08:00

"Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw

The Wait Is Over

2009-11-24T12:59:00.000-08:00

"It’s just the way
The game is played
It’s best if you just
Wait your turn"

Sometimes it takes
A thousand tries
To win

Next!

2009-09-10T00:24:00.001-07:00

"When one door closes, another one opens"

In life, we must learn to carry on with or without the approval of others. There is no need to tear ourselves or others apart wishing we or they had done this or that differently. Call those who call you. Write those who write you. Love those who love you. What's done is done and there is no need to EVER waste time!

No life isn't always fair. Bad things happen to good people. There are mishaps, tragedies, accidents. We can sit around being miserable or we can grab the lesson and become better persons for it. By no means of condenming ourselves or tormenting others do we find solace or consolation.

Nothing cushions the blow of a break-up then positive attention from other men. Nothing feels better than leaving a difficult and tumultous friendship to be openly greeted by a warm and loving arms. No feeling is greater than being promoted from an opressive work place to one that is light and fun where you feel appreciated. Nothing makes more sense than being prosperous in life after being expected to fail! =)

In every lesson, there is a blessing and an opportunity to grow. It's up to us whether or not our hearts are open to recieve it. It is beyond me why some would choose to stay stuck in the pass mourning what could of been, instead of embracing what is and what could be. Don't BLOCK your blessings. Simply realize in this universe, which was created by a divine, organizing intelligence, there are simply no accidents. Whatsoever you are struggling for or against, learn from it and let it go! We all need time to sulk and mope while we adjust. However, after the ice-cream and bon-bons are consumed, the sad love songs have been played and the tears have been shed--We MUST START ANEW! WE MUST GO FORTH!!

Fill your social calendar with activities you enjoy and surround yourself with strong, grounded and positive individuals. What you will find is when you are rejected you can rest assured there are no shortages of people waiting around to point and say I told you so. Rid yourself of such companions. For every negative situation or circumstance you willfully relinquish you open the door to a host of new, fresh and uplifting experiences. For every person who walks away from you be thankful because 10 more will rise up to take their place. Do not look back. Now is the time to forge a new path.

Never give up on yourself, your dreams and your convictions be willing to take a good look around and know when to say: NEXT!

Here is a fun song about it:

"If you don't have the answer, than why are you standing here?...Just Walk Way!"

Failure: My take on things!!

2009-09-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Edison

MUST WATCH INSPIRATIONAL VIDEO:

It doesn’t matter how many times you fail. It doesn’t matter how many times you almost get it right. No one is going to know or care about your failures, and neither should you. All you have to do is learn from them and those around you because all that really matters in life is that you get it right once. Then everyone can tell you how lucky you are! When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more. Surviving a failure is actually a great learning tool, that in the long run gives you more self-confidence provided you learn the lesson. If failure is in fact a form of education, then I AM IN FACT VERY WELL EDUCATED!!! Obstacles in life are both necessary and unavoidable, but we mustn't be overcome by them.

WARFARE: Guess YOU BETTER GO GET YOU ARMOR!

2009-09-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against spiritual wickedness in high places." --Ephesians 6:12

Why does Love always feel like a BATTLEFIELD???

For starters, know and trust your struggle. Know what IS and ISN'T your fight. 90% of what other people say and do have more to do with their own history, then with you. So observe carefully.

Everything and every place have been influenced by darkness. The economic systems of our world have been influenced by darkness. The political systems of our world have been influenced and infected by darkness. The educational systems of our world have been influenced by darkness. The social mores and values have been influenced by darkness. Therefore, morality is depraved.

In the book of Ephesians: John says that the whole world lies in the arms of the evil one. They are not even cognizant of the fact that they have been affected and infected by DARKNESS. They do not understand.

FOCUS ON THE LIGHT

Our FOCUS is to be on the resurrected, ascended, glorified Lord Jesus Christ and on His resurrection power in each individual life. That is our focus. We do not focus on darkness. We focus on light. The Prince and the power of light is the Lord Jesus Himself.

Effective Leadership

2009-09-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still" - Lao Tzu

You can have power yet not require complete control over everything. Great leadership and authority allows your words and actions to garner the following you need. It isn't necessary to strong arm and micromanage every little detail. Power is a... blessing & responsibilty that requires a sense of humility, humor and patience - as well as the smarts to acquire the right people to carry out your mission. says my friend Sean. I thought to myself well, aint that the dog gone truth. Everyone wants to have power or control over something it's what makes us human. I have always realized that it takes extreme security and cofidence to not let a little power go to your head. When you think about it, ruling with an iron fist is going to piss of SOMEBODY! Do you want FRUSTRATED people around you? There is certainly a way of not frustrating people, but getting your point across. As a friend so poignantly reminded me. No one wants to be frustrated life is difficult enough for that.

Everything isn't always obtained through brute force.

Michael Jackson: This is It!

2009-07-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

"To mourn or not to mourn. It's all a personal choice in how we handle the expression of our grief. No one is entitled to dictate our feelings or pain, as that is arrogant, self serving and most of all lacking in respect. People handle the passing of a loved one or influential one differently - respect that and keep it moving."--Sean Hood

I guess it is true, you never know what good you have until it's gone. Today's memorial was an uplifting and positive look back at Michael Jackson's life. Fans making it quite clear Jackson's music trancends culture, race and age. The outpouring of emotion was definetly felt. The staple center was made to look like a Cathedral. Opening song was sung by Lionel Richie Mourning the untimely death of this legendary entertainer.

The words MJ and deceased just don't belong together. I guess we all thought he was invincible...seems surreal. I cried harder than perhaps I have in a really long time. I just don't react that way to celebrities. It was so sudden and unexpected. I am still wrapping my mind around it. However, seeing that casket brought me to tears and I knew this was real. The passing of Michael Jackson has finally hit me!

The entire thing from start to finish was respectful, touching, somber. The family looked good and strong.

He has finished his work here. God has called him home.

He was inspiring, motivating and a messenger of peace. One of the saddest funerals I have ever seen. Michael will miss you forever!! your talent will never be forgotten. Good bye KING!!

"Before you judge me, try hard to love me,Look within your heart then ask, have you seen my childhood? No-one will ever know how much these wicked rumours have hurt me." -Michael Jackson

My Literary Love Affair

2009-07-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

"Give me a man or woman who has read a thousand books and you give me an interesting companion. Give me a man or woman who has read perhaps three and you give me a dangerous enemy indeed" Ann Rice

It is no secret that I love to read. When I open up the pages of a book, I open a door to a world , not my own. It is a magical and amazing process if you are committed. New landscapes and characters who enrich your world long after the last page as been read. For some people the trigger is that the character is like you. They think, feel as you would. The ability to make real life connections with the characters is what keeps some people coming back for more. People want to know that they are not alone! There is an exitement about trying to uncover some strange, uncharted and unknown world.

Great books open your mind and even your heart. I was change after reading the Bluest Eye or The Color Purple. Literature can be life changing. Vicarious experiences take us intellectual journeys, that expand our knowledge of places unvisited and people unknown. Reading transports.

For the times when we laugh out loud, yell in anger and sob pathetically on the ground. It is something that is just so beautiful and addicting, and I feel sorry for those who don't love to read. It is a different, precious love one feels for fictional characters, and it's something I love to experience every day. We read to learn about society, history, different points of view, different beliefs. A world without books would be pretty boring!

Only ART can illuminate life as a whole, not science which reduces everything to particles in order to describe and measure them. Art of all kinds -- including literature -- can help us understand ourselves and our world so we can make choices. .

Happy Reading!

Michael Jackson: Criticism and Cynicism

2009-07-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

“It is not the critic who counts,

not the man who points out

how the strong man stumbles

or where the doer of deeds

could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man

who is actually in the arena,

whose face is marred

by dust and sweat and blood,

who strives valiantly,

who errs and comes short again and again

because there is no effort

without error and shortcomings,

who knows the great devotion,

who spends himself in a worthy cause,

who at best knows in the end

the high achievement of triumph and who at worst,

if he fails while daring greatly,

knows his place shall never be

with those timid and cold souls

who know neither victory nor defeat.”
- Theodore Roosevelt

What can I say about the man with whom I share my initials and as a result of whom I was at the receiving end of school boy teasing--"your not my lover Billy jean" to which I'd retort "I'm NOT Billy Jean" He was a giver and a humanitarian. That is what I remember most. He shared himself with the entire world by living in a glass house his whole life. This of course something which left him wide open to a media lynch mob, who clung to and brutally deconstructed his every misstep. He was an expert entertainer. A genius who was before his time. He gave us everything he had to his very last breath. His death was sudden and tragic! it is a grim reminder to the living to appreciate and value life. I've already cried about it and been caught off guard on four separate occasions. I am sentimental, but not a major cryer, but yet it's unexplainable I feel like I know him. He has been entertaining longer than I've been alive. I am just in awe of him and feel blessed to have lived during his time.

It's easy to look upon others and stand in judgment in the midst of their struggles. I guess on some small level it can make us feel better to know, that someone else may bare a bigger cross than we do. For a big time celebrity like Michael Jackson, that's never been more true. We as a society we often like to point and stare at others. Their spectacles are our amusement. Michael was the subject of such scrutiny both early and often. How could he not be ? It is well known that he spent his childhood as a working miniature and spent most of his adult hood attempting to regain lost ground and make-up for his lost years. He even wrote a song about it "Have You Seen My Childhood". In kind, this is the reason, why I believe American Idol as worked so well. It's like watching a train wreck. The bafoonery keeps us glued to our T.V. sets, shaking our heads in disbelief as we watch these straight-faced clueless souls belt out pitchy tunes with pride and conviction. It does provide a sort of cheap entertainment to be quickly consumed and traded in for the next cheap thrill that commands our attention. However, what does it really profit us? but valuable time with which we could probably be advancing or bettering ourselves. In this race called life, the one to beat is yourself. Are you better than YOU used to be? Other people aren't your competition, YOU are your OWN. You needn't worry about or measure yourself against the progress of another. As with Michael, he was a perfectionist who ALWAYS strived to outdo none other than himself.

As his song reminds us --it all starts by looking at the MAN IN THE MIRROR!

As with Aaliyah, Biggie, Tupac and countless others, we typically honor our heroes and stars with and outpouring of flowers, balloons and sentiments, an honor I feel that is best bestowed while they are still alive and among us to appreciate it! It is common knowledge, that Michael's reputation had been a bit tarnished by the tabloids and as a result makes me wonder. Allegations had been made about him to which he sought redemption for in his big comeback tour, ironically a tour he would never live to see.

With his death his voice will be forever silenced and so will those of his critics for in the end--everything changes, but all that remains is beauty.

"PLEASE KEEP THAT NEGATIVE MJ COMMENTARY TO URSELF. SO OVER HEARING IMPERFECT PEOPLE TALK BAD ABOUT HIM OR ANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. HAVE U EVER DISRESPECTED UR BODY? ANYONE ELSE ? DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLY WRONG AND COME WITHIN INCHES OF YOUR LIFE? HAVE YOU YET REACHED YOUR FULL POTENTIAL ON UR LIFE'S JOURNEY? JUST FALL BACK WITH THE CRITICISM! WE WOULD ALL BENEFIT FROM OUR OWN SELF IMPROVEMENT & APPRECIATIN THE BLESSINGS MJ & COUNTLESS OTHERS HAVE BESTOWED UPON US WOULD BE GREAT. SHOOT! " --Atallah

Curb My Enthusiasm? ---NOT!

2009-07-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty"-Winston Churchill

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. Never really been the the mopy, sulky type. This is something miserable people can't seem to grasp. Do things have to be perfect before you can be happy? Well, I say absolutely not! If I were waiting for that, I'd be waiting a mighty long time. Me being down is a very rare thing so, I could certainly see why it would cause fascination or stir others.

While I understand that being jubilant can reaaaally piss people off! Acting up drink in my cup---I could care less whatcha think! don't need your permission did I mention? If you're a BUzzKill or Debbie Downer won't pay you any attention!

"If you're optimistic and you think life is going to get better, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Focus on the positive things, on what brings you joy, rather than the things that annoy. More Shine and Less Whine. Nothing stays the same. Things are ALWAYS changing for better or WORSE! You choose your attitude.

So go ahead, have a hearty laugh over every amusing situation. Look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations. Even in your darkest moment, you usually can find something to laugh about if you try hard ...enough. =) If you rest, you rust. He who laughs, LASTS! Keep it easy n breezy! ~})i({~

Cry Just A Little For Me

2009-06-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak”-HWL

BE A HEALER, NOT AN AGITATOR. WHEN OTHERS EXPERIENCE PAIN DO YOU RUB IT OUT OR DO YOU RUB IT IN?

Life can be a real battle sometimes and nothing can make you more angry or sad, then loss. Job loss, loss of someone you loved, loss of a pet or even your home. I should know. There was a time in my life when I had been hit with so many curve balls. What it felt like was rapid-fire calamity. Was I agitated? of course! When I am feeling very emotional, I can't take too much more drama. I don't even want to talk about it. At that point, it doesn't matter who it is, the next person who questions or criticizes me is going to be hit with a wall of silence and get the brush-off! (nothing personal, from mere exhaustion if nothing else).

And if they STILL don't get it, I MAY CHARGE AT THEM LIKE THE "BULL" THAT I AM. Translation: let me graze in peace. If that person is you, then don't get mad when I nod to whatever you might be saying because it is you who failed to be observant. Injury physical or emotional causes people to react defensively. Just forgive them and let it go because it's not you. Attempting to rationalize another person's emotions will only serve to aggravate you because emotions don't have to make sense. They just are. What makes one person cry, may make another laugh. I've seen this happen. So, let people be sometime, they'll appreciate you more later.

Try to see it their way. Pity and sympathy are understandable, but greater still is empathy. You may not be attacking, but to someone who has just experienced emotional warfare it will feel that way and they will retaliate in order to safeguard their emotional territory. If someone is frustrated, exhausted, or has recently suffered emotional loss, I say find a better time.

Not discussing pain immediately isn't about pretending everything is ok, when it's not. It's a way of creating a little emotional room and allowing the individual take a breather. Is pain and hurt ever really going anywhere? I mean I've heard it said, whatever we don't deal with redoubles. People have to deal with grief in their own time and in their own way. You can't force it. Probing someone after being hit hard mentally, emotionally or physically might not be such a good idea and may NOT get you the desired results. How are you? Fine? Why would they be fine? What are they supposed to say? Actually,no I'm not doing to well right now, seeing how I just got HIT BY A BUS!! But,hey how are you? Feeling reassured in your inquiries? At a funeral or a bad break-up, if you don't know what to say, then say nothing. Just be there. Until they ARE ready to talk and if you create a safe space it will happen naturally.

Everybody needs time to recuperate and decompress after loss or tragedy. You'd think it's obvious, but it's not. People want to know where you been and what you've been up to and the like, which is natural and normal. However, giving oneself a chance to have some downtime from a hectic and stressful time is a good thing. It is self-care. It isn't anything against anyone else, as much as it is in protection and defense of self. How would you react under emotional depletion? Personally, my defense mechanisms are alive and kicking. And I am grateful for them!

Try it for yourself, go through something painful and see if YOU wish to be bombarded or judged by ANYONE! See how patient you feel. Man, some things people say and do would make you slap your own mama. Many people will never know the pain of dealing with some of things of the things I've been through. I just ask that I not be judged, nor given advice, simply allowed to be. People need support mostly, not for their problems pointed out to or solved for them. Simply be encouraging and supportive that is enough! Less is more!

Unless you're one of those exceptionally intuned people who ALWAYS seem to know the right thing to say at the right time, then you don't want to chance making things worse. You want people to feel more at ease and at peace when they leave your company, not worse.

When anyone is grieving generally avoid asking how they feel! It's patronizing because it's rhetorical. Therefore, the response you get might be equally sobering. How would you feel if you fell into a shit hole of troubles you didn't ask for? Maybe you should try some pain on for size and see how you'd like it. It's like showing up to the scene of an accident with microphones and a camera and asking the victim for every detail. So, how did it feel when you broke your neck? Can you taste your own blood? What do you think the reaction would be?

I may fall, but rest assured, I damn sure won't stay down. Wallowing in bitterness and unforgiveness is exactly what some would have you do. And then what? then they win? The miserable people who want to see you suffer win. Just so they can get to say he's miserable too! One of us. Nope! I will keep getting up. Over and over again, and I won't give up. I won't stay down. I will come back bigger, badder, stronger each and everytime-- I may fall seven times, but I will STAND UP EIGHT!

Adjusting to pain is never an easy thing. This difficulty weighs heavy on the bearer, but even more astonishing is the adjustment that happens among those closest to you. When you hurt they hurt too. Sometimes, people are concerned and don’t know what to do. This scares them. They want to help, but aren’t always sure how. We can never know what people are truly going through or what turmoil they carry within their spirit despite of what they choose to share or admit to us.

We should really give others a break when they react in a way that we might not like or understand especially after facing tragedy. A lot of what people say and do have got nothing to do with us because we are all on our own journey. Trying to care for yourself while not offending others can be a real juggling act, if I've ever seen one! Think about it, if you were hurt emotionally wouldn't it make sense that you may just want to stay closed off for awhile in order to heal. Only a fool or a glutton for punishment would readily be open and vulnerable to anyone immediately thereafter.

As time passes,one of two things can happen. Things can get worse, yup! they actually can OR they will actually start to improve. I've seen a lot of situations unfold. I've been a lot of places and met ALL types, but there's one thing that stays on my mind: Out of all the thing I've done, or the places I've gone, and the things I've seen, I have NEVER seen the righteous forsaken.

It's simple: Who jah bless no man curse!

So next time, when someone is grieving, don't say, if I were you...go on stand in the eye of the storm and see for yourself. Trade places with them. Why not walk a mile in their shoes? Ask God, to show you things through their eyes. I daaaaare you! No? I didn't think so! Mercy and compassion are things to really think about. Afterall, we will ALL face tragedy one day!

Keep the faith, signing off--The Underdog

Check out this video. This about sums it up right here:

Faith Hill:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKU5ap-kplM

Risk: Take A Chance, Take A Chance, TAke a Chance!

2009-06-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."-Annie Dillard

I know it's pretty cliche, but I want to take life by the horns. I am trying more and more to be grateful and make each day meaningful in some way. Sometimes, you have to be abrupt and drastic and just take a chance. At some point, you've got to take a risk, in order to move forward. All progress spiritually and emotionally require going further and further out on a limb. When you are of hope and good faith you know you won't fall. You've got to risk greater to get greater! Change can increase stress levels, leaving you wondering just what exactly it is you might be getting yourself into. Change also puts you outside of your comfort zone increasing the possibility of making mistakes. I have taken chances and made changes and as a result, I have made more mistakes in my personal and professional life than I can count. However, I am not ashamed of them. I have simply used them as crucibles by which my character will be forged. The uncertainty of outcome can in fact be scary when the future is being pursued positively.

Being focused on a positive mental image keeps me very upbeat and motivated regardless of the circumstance. Recalling happier times when I was the star, dazzled everyone and came on top definetely helps. I tell myself, if I did it before, I can do it again. A major chunk of confidence comes from previous success. Confident people remind themselves of previous accomplishments. Keeping my eyes on the prize is what get's me out of bed in the morning.

Always shine your light brightly and be yourself. Never allow yourself to be amped by others to do what feels unatural to you or you'll live to regret it. You know what your doing and if you make mistakes, so what? Be it BOLD, Silent, Funny, Indifferent--just be YOU! Everyone faces reality in their own way. Weep, sing, live, play, dance YOUR WAY!

Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.

Why live life with regret? Years ago, I went to Six Flags with my sister. At first, she was somewhat afraid of the roller coaster, but eventually relented in the name of adventure. As we boarded the roller coaster, I could see the tension in my sister’s body, undoubtedly caused by the adrenaline coursing through her veins with each heartbeat. I was probably feeling the same way, but since this is another one of those situations over which you have no control, it didn’t really bother me that much. Hey, if this was my day to die, then it is my day to die - might as well enjoy the ride before the accident! there a place you've always wanted to go, something you've always wanted to try just do it! We rode every single coaster in that park by the end of the day. We even went on the free-fall which terrified me more than I could possibly describe. Not only did we make it of safely, we had enjoyed our time and concquered our fear. it was really no big deal.

I am reminded of this experience every time I see people make a really big deal out of not so bad situations. We have all been in situations that could just be ignored, but instead gets absurdly blown out of proportion. Every day, many people are prevented from accomplishing their dreams due to these imaginary obstacles, including me. As long as something doesn’t kill you or permanently injure you in some way, you can do it!

Go on, take a chance after all what have you got to lose. Sit back and enjoy the ride. You'll be glad you did!

Kindness: Spread Love!

2009-06-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”--Leo F. Buscaglia

Kindness is the act or the state of being kind and marked by charitable behaviour, marked by mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others.

The act of being kinder is a simple way to make your life more enjoyable and satisfiying because a life without fulfillment life isn't well lived. No one as ever been heard complaining of how there being too much joy and happiness in their lives. So, be friendly, laugh, relax, be playful, enjoy help others. It's been said that, those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves. I believe there is a profound truth in this. By helping someone else you are inevitebably helping yourself. Focus on the positive things, on what brings you joy, rather than the things that annoy.

In our actions and reactions to others would it kill us to show more sympathy and compassion or less? Is it better to be cruel and mean? Are there any benefits form trying to hurt or punsih others? Well, not in my book. If someone hurts you it doesn't say anything about you other than you wish to take chances and be open and trusting towards others. The hurtful individual reflects their own insecurity. Hurting others does not improve our quality of life, not in even in the least bit. Sometimes, we need to take the time to show ourselves compassion and tenderness. Otherwise, it is nearly impossible to show it to others.

When we feel bad, we might treat people in an ill-natured or thoughtless way, which can lower their mood, and they might do the same to the next person they meet, and so it carries on. Perhaps, my bad mood could travel through various other minds, fanning out, until it eventually brings person after person down. Why not effect positive change instead?

The easiest way to do this is through a warm smile and eye contact you make with a person each day. It doesn't matter if you are at home, work or at the mall. you can show kindness and compassion wherever you are and with whomever you are with. Whether it is with family, friends or strangers don't waste the opportunity to be kind to anyone. There are other ways to be kind such as lending a helping and to neighbor or friend, praising others, encouraging positive discourse among friends and relatives, giving away surpluses of clothing, books or other things to charity, being considerate to other people's feelings, giving others your full support and attention. If your brother is struggling help him up. Most people aren't looking for a hand-out, just a hand up. It's good to be generous and kind because you never know what tomorrow is going to bring. The foot you step on today, may be the foot in your ass tomorrow.

Pay it forward, pass it on. Consciously spread happiness. You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain! Why not become the change you want to see in the world? "I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help. There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heals our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. It is our connection to God and to each other." EKR No one is ever going to be quite good enough or perfect enough, but we have to meet people where they are not where we wish they were, now tha is true compassion. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle indeed.

Being angry, frustrated and unhappy is not worth it. It's much easier to make up and be happy instead. It's been proven, that small acts of kindness can actually be beneficial for our health. Both the giver and receiver are better off. Once the decision to be a little kinder is made a great amount of pleasure will be brought to your own life.

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." ~Jesse Jackson

Keeping Secrets: To tell or not to tell that is the question?

2009-06-14T01:24:00.000-07:00

"The obsessive fear of secrets culminates in the denial of the right of private difference, which is the denial of the right of others to possess a sphere of privacy."

"Privacy...the condition under which an individual has the power to choose what information to disclose to whom, without pressure or duress.
Secrecy...the condition in which someone refuses to disclose certain information to certain parties..usually because they are prying."---

Have you ever had a secret and wondered whether or not if you should reveal it? At some point in our lives, most of us will have a secret. The question is though, when or if it is safe to reveal it? Obviously, if having it discovered will cause you significant problems or embarrassment you might wanna keep some things private. Furthermore, if you know something about someone that may cause THEM pain, shame or cause a scandal to explode, you might also want to keep that private as well. Isn't incremental disclosure necessary on some levels? I mean you don't just meet someone and tell them you're dying of cancer. We all have secrets, if you don't think so, look no further than your closest friend or family member for verification. No one wants to be subject to rumors or talk that are senstational, personal and intimate in nature. This speaks to that pressing need to confess and voyeuristically find out other people's secrets.

Sometimes the need to share, to tell, can be overwhelming. Some have suggested that it may be physically as well as psychologically beneficial to talk about your problems instead of managing them on your own. So, believe it or not most people DO want to share themselves with others. However, they aren't going to do it if by noon tomorrow it's going to be fodder for gossip and scrutiny OR HEADLINE news. "There is a great power in confessing to strangers because it offers an easy, no-consequence way of telling the truth," Greg Lundgren said. This gives us great insight as to why the Catholic confession booth has worked so well. This provides some evidence that, who the confidant is plays a major role in what is told. "A discreet confidant was described as one who "never tells your secrets to others," while a nondiscreet confidant was described as a person who "sometimes tells your secrets to others." A judgmental confidant was one who "usually judges you quite harshly because of the things you reveal;" a nonjudgmental confidant was described as "never judges you harshly because of the things you reveal."-research study by Kevin McKillop

In my own life, discretion and nonjudgment plays a huge role as to if and how much I disclose and to whom. I don't believe any two people are the same, so I don't treat them the same. I have what I call a seperate, but equal relationship with my family as well as my friends. I am not revealing an uncertain pregnancy to the church blabblermouth. It's just not going to happen. I don't talk to my dad about fashion and I don't get passionate about politics with my mom. Why make things akward? People because of experiences, personality, age, gender ect will tend to relate very differently on certain issues. Some people are more empathetic some are more judgmental. Either way, I may or may not want to deal with that. And let's face it, some people just don't understand the concept of privacy. Keeping some things to yourself is a foreign concept to them and so whatever is shared with them, they must repeat or speak out loud. They just can't help themselves. If I confide in someone and they share it with others without first talking to me about it or they judge and criticize, it's highly likely that I will not confide in them again. I also believe people should be careful when disclosing information that could cause a panic and drama.

My rule for secrets is simple:
You can reveal your OWN secrets, but not someone elses. Revealing someone elses private matters isn't a harmless act. Rule of thumb: If it will cause drama, just don't do it! Keep your mouth shut! In my opinion, you can only ask someone or encourage them to open up, but to take the initiative to reveal anything that someone was guarding isn't your right. The initiative ISN'T YOURS to take! There are ways to dicuss someone and sharing things without breaking confidentiality. Passing around someone elses private information is trifle and insensitive. Divulging confidential information or giving evidence about another may be easy, but what if it were you?

Secrets can be burdensome which is why they are often shared in a face to face, one to one trusting, intimate environment. If it was known by many, intended to be passed on and spread like wildfire than it wouldn't be a secret. Would it?

Whispering and iddle chatter sometimes,consumes those who think themselves better than the subject of their indiscreet talk. Everyone wants to guard their own privacy, but it's okay to turn the lives of others into a voyeur's amusement park?? I don't think so! It is for this reason, I Hate tabloids, gossip columns and Wendy Williams. They all focus entirely on negative spin,drama and exaggerations. It's not reality. Reality usually isn't as scandalous or intense it tends to be a lot more mundane and boring. Fantasy and drama are much more exciting, even if we create it ourselves.

I admire Beyonce and Jay Z for this reason. They managed to keep their relationship enduring and private in an environment notorious for bad publicity and negative spin of celebrities. Not to mention, it was nobody's business. In this case, keeping a secret It is about maintaining a desired level of personal privacy and avoid prying ears. They executed this beautifully! This a perfect example where keeping something secret is clearly beneficial and down right necessary.

When it comes to intimate relationships, secrets shouldn't be kept, but sometimes don't share their true selves because they run the risk being judged, deconstructed, shamed or villified. If these elements are absent, the individual is more likely to open-up. Friends and family members are notorious for giving all kinds of advice, and if you're trying to say something when you're very vulnerable people feel really exposed by people who mean to do well.

Finally, Always assume your messages will be shared with others. If you really want to keep a secret, then tell NO one! It's that simple! When you tell a secret and ask that it remain so, you might as well stand on the rooftop and make a loud announcement. I have learned that people are not confidants. Secrets should remain that way, until it's time for all to hear. Sometimes, they should remain a secrets forever!

Balance

2009-05-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

There can be no sun
without a moon
No silence
without
sound
No up
without a down
No rise
without fall (anticipated)
Nothing
without all
How then, Must growth occur without decay?
Surely work ought not exist without play?

You can no more ask that there be a beginning without an end
And that women survive in a world without men

To value the new and not appreciate the old
Is as absurd as, something being bought, but not sold

There can be no sweet
without the bitter
No day
without night
No blindness
without sight
No hot
Without cold
No bland
Without bold
The mere control a flood subsequently prevents a drought
Wherein lies certainty there will surely be doubt

Unavoidable is love without the gravitational pull of fear
Subtlety hides from the obvious and clear

Fantasy will naturally be challenged by facts
As a need only provides for a lack

There can be no reverie
Without reality
No victory
without defeat
No cold
without heat
No pleasure
without pain
No loss
without gain
Therefore, as the solid earth compliments the fluid ocean
What once stood still, will convert into motion

A Mountain’s peaks are pronounced by the valleys between them
Erect wits submit to the hearts that bend them

One thing is created through the necessary destruction of another.
As each contrary element compliments the other

Is it possible then to expect,

That one would give and not take?
Build and not break?

A take-off can’t occur without an appropriate landing
Without conflict there can be neither peace nor understanding

Every advance is then complimented by a retreat
Why struggle against that which is complete?

A desirable point between opposing forces
A path crossed from two separate courses

Just has the tides must inevitably return to the sea
As there is a you, there must be a me

By: Myriam Jean

Neutrality

2009-04-12T02:14:00.000-07:00

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral"Paulo Friere

People who do not try to do the right thing and to a lesser extent people who remain neutral on important matters. Frankly, I am sick and tired of hearing their excuses when they say they have to be neutral, can't get involved, or say, "What can I do?"

Just do: "the right thing," period.

Listening to these people is about as much fun as…(please see* below.) I exaggerate a tad, but seriously, no one will condemn you for being straightforward and within reason.

* pushing bamboo splints under my fingernails or to a lesser extent spontaneously getting a Charlie horse.

I think that there are lots scared people out there, albeit scared for a wide variety of reasons. There are all too many slacked-jawed-gauwkers standing around ready to say "Okay!"

When you flip-flop from one side of an issue to another, depending on who you are with, whether you are at work or hanging out with friends, you're spending a lot of energy compartmentalizing your life. You will be limited to two alternatives; either being overly cautious or the other extreme being "too-faced" Needless to say, this isn't a very healthy or emotionally satisfying way to live. This not an impartial act...just the ultimate cop-out.

Man has the freedom to choose. It is one of the endowments that lifts us above the animal world. Actualizing our unique potential has human beings depends on our ability to exercise and develop this endowment. The ability to CHOOSE is our greatest POWER. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Now, being true to myself and having an opinion, doesn't mean things can't hurt me. Of course, things can hurt me, but my character and my identity won't be hurt because of those things. My principles and values will remain the same. Difficult experiences will become the crucibles that forge my character making me stronger. Therefore, it is a win/win situation, although it might not feel that way initially. Personally, I'm not exactly pining away for the leuke warm and bland experiences of a half-assed life. I want it rich, bold, vivid in Technicolor full of purpose and meaning. You know, the kind of experiences you walk away feeling motivated and inspired by.

There are so many ways to play with words and drop hints vaguely and still remain neutral. When you play games, you waste your own time, the time of others and get nowhere. You want something speak up! Otherwise, you run the risk of losing it to someone who will. Holding back the truth and suffering silently is pointless.(Please see*) When you think you're punishing someone else. You might just really be punishing yourself.

*Silence (aka neutrality) = Death

Death of self
Death of community
Death of …(fill the blank)

Speaking up = Life

I suppose there are real fears about angering people, but how much of that fear is realistic and how much of it is simply brought on by intimidation tactics that border on being unethical? Is it really worth being around people or somewhere where you can't be authentic?

Some say, that high hopes and expectations breed major disappointment. . I won't set my sights too high they say, that way I can rebound quickly if the rug's pulled out from under me. As a result, they take the approach of avoiding decision-making at all cost. Don't ask for too much. Don't make waves. Stay unnoticed, that way everyone's happy. (Please see *)

*Making everybody Happy=Mission Impossible.

I believe remaining neutral is a trap. In reality, indecision is in fact a decision. Make no mistake, it's either you are acting or being acted upon at all times. If you can't choose, don't be too surprised when a choice is then made for you.

Get up and do something or you could just remain neutral.

Signing off The Underdog

POV: Dismantling the Rockefeller Drug LAWs

2009-04-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

"The genius of any slave system is found in the dynamics which isolate slaves from each other, obscure the reality of a common condition, and make united rebellion against the oppressor inconceivable." Andrea Dworkin

Rockefeller Drug Laws Dropped

For years, New York's Rockefeller drug laws have been among the toughest in the nation-as well as a magnet for criticism by activists who contended that the laws' mandatory sentencing requirements were overly harsh and constrained judges' authority in dealing with nonviolent offenders. After years of activist efforts to "Drop the Rock," Governor David Paterson and state lawmakers have reportedly reached a deal to roll back the laws' toughest provisions.
Read it at The New York Times
Posted at 6:52 AM, Mar 26, 2009

Dropping The Rock!

Their efforts come a day late and a dollar short! What about the devastation mercilessly inflicted upon the victims and their families? The many lives ruined over a period of many decades? Will I applaud them for providing a basic human right? No! Have they returned dignity and humanity to these people? Hell No! Am I glad these people get to move forward with what’s left of their lives and that never again will others be forced a carry the burden of this "rock"? I'm sure things would have moved along more quickly had the prison demographics been different. It's reminiscent of the delayed and reluctant efforts after Hurricane Katrina... Read More. In both cases, it's institutionalized racism at it's finest. These ridiculous sentences, spearhead personal and economic growth of minorities by making it almost impossible for those being charged to lead normal lives afterwards. Only proving, that the work of abolishing slavery and racism are continuous. They are not simply a one shot deal!

Under these laws, typically blacks and latinos are put away for 8-20 years on corrigible offenses. Drug possession come on? The mass targeting and criminilization of the black youth continues to be a modern day tragedy. Poor people and minorities are reviled and literally discarded. Rich people do a sophisticated crimes and some even do cocktail of intense drugs and aren't punished. Precisely because "white collar crimes" are harder to pin down. Don't even get me started on the current state of the economy due to elite crimes slipping through the cracks. Would these offenses be treated in the same fashion if they occurred in well serviced neighborhoods? Inevitably the burden of the "Rock" ruins the young lives of mostly minority at risk youth.

More Jails are not the answer. The prison systems have become no more than a predatory entity. Effective changes in community infrastructure and well run educational programs have been proven to be a preventative measure in having to make tough life altering choices like whether or not to sell drugs to pay your rent.

These minor crimes are more of a situational issue and clearly linked to poor education, of resources and generational poverty. Moreover, it's no surprise, that if you treat people like animals in a zoo and Spin the law for the benefit of the Zookeepers, you will inevitably pave the narrow path to a cage. However, if a path is cleared, training and rehabilitation is provided, oftentimes a 180 degree turnabout can be seen. You'd be really surprised at what can come out of the slums! Why are we still treating people like relics or beasts? We have got to do better than this!

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." - MLK Jr., I Have a Dream Speech

Source: Wikipedia

[ The Rockefeller drug laws is the term used to denote the statutes dealing with the sale and possession of "narcotic" drugs in the New York State Penal Law. The laws are named after Nelson Rockefeller, who was the state's governor at the time the laws were adopted. Rockefeller, a staunch supporter of the bill containing the laws, signed it on May 8, 1973.
Under the Rockefeller drug laws, the penalty for selling two ounces (approximately 56 grams) or more of heroin, morphine, "raw or prepared opium," cocaine, or cannabis, including marijuana (these latter two being included in the statute even though they are not "narcotics" from a chemical standpoint), or possessing four ounces (approximately 113 grams) or more of the same substances, was made the same as that for second-degree murder: a minimum of 15 years to life in prison, and a maximum of 25 years to life in prison. The original legislation also mandated the same penalty for committing a violent crime while under the influence of the same drugs, but this provision was subsequently omitted from the bill and was not part of the legislation Rockefeller ultimately signed.]

Just Keep Swimming!

2009-03-07T00:18:00.000-08:00

"Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal."Robert Collier

All around you there is no shortage of people who are willing to give you ALL the reasons as to why you can't or won't achieve something. Sometimes you may even feel that there are obstacles OR that others are at an advantage. You will not find that here. Upon reading this text the hope is that you are reminded that you CAN and WILL achieve ANYTHING you desire strongly enough as long as you believe it to be so and work hard. If you are looking for harsh and bitter to swallow doses of reality, you won't find it here. Let's go with the working assumption that judgment, denigration, shame and blame abound already.

What you WILL find is a place where tenacity overcomes discouragement. A place for Phenomenal men and women who wish to live with and share truth, compassion and integrity. The intention is to inspire the will to win and remain steadfast and press on.

My philosophy for life is you do what you can for as long, as you can and when you finally can’t, you do the next best thing. You back up, but you don’t give up. As Dori cheerfully reminds a despairing Nemo in the movie Finding Nemo. "Just KEEP Swimming!"

Namaste! Signing off... The Underdog

INVALIDATION

2009-02-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

It seems fair to say that with enough invalidation, one person can figuratively, if not literally, drive another person crazy. This is especially possible, I believe, in the case where one person has long-term power over another. Examples of such relationships are parent/child, teacher/child, "spiritual" leader/follower, boss/employee, spouse A/spouse B.

Such a sad scenario appears to be even more likely when the person being invalidated is highly sensitive, intelligent and has previously suffered self-esteem damage.
The more sensitive the person, the more serious the damage of invalidation. Invalidation undermines self-confidence because it causes self-doubt. This in turn further diminishes self-esteem. Invalidation is serious violation of one's "true self." I believe it is one of the worst crimes one person can commit against another without ever lifting a finger against them. And yet it is neither illegal, "immoral" by most who consider themselves moralists, nor even widely recognized as a problem.

Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse.

It kills confidence, creativity and individuality.

As "adults" we tend to use the word "listen" differently depending on the situation. When we truly want someone to listen to us, rather than obey us -- and this person is someone we consider an equal, a friend or someone we are seeking help from -- we often mean we want them to listen in a caring way without judging us or telling us what to do.

This strikes me as very ironic. A person who sees themselves as some kind of authority figure wants to tell other people what to do. They desire others to listen to them, yet oddly enough, they often find it hard to really listen in return!
They just want to be listened to.

Most of the time both parties would like to feel understood and empathized with. We don't usually feel any of these things when someone expects us to just obey them.

Do you add value or take it away?

HOPE: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness!

2009-02-24T19:42:00.000-08:00

Monday, January 19, 2009 at 6:41pm | Edit Note | Delete
LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

There are no words. People are willing to deal with the crowds, brave the cold and stand shoulder to shoulder with strangers just to be a witness to history. The Inauguration of Barack Obama. 3 out of 4 Americans will be watching. Why? because there is a buzz going through this entire country, an interconnectedness. The idea that my struggle is your struggle. When I win you win, but when I am defeated some part of you goes down with me. Nwhere is this evidence greater than the selection of a leader. Whether in a corporation, a school, or a country leadership sets the tone. It can be a negative one or a positive one.

Well finally, America is getting it’s sway back. This country is becoming cool again. It is a NEW DAY in America and an exciting time in our country’s history.

There are those who wonder why I get so passionate? Just think this is a country who treated black people like they were Smurfs walking down the street. “Oh my God, mommy look at the weird looking blue people.” The same with Jews, gays and for a while Middle Easterners. A country were the very White House was built by slaves. That it is even possible a descendent of slaves can even be President shows just how far we‘ve come. In all of our History a MOMENT of redemption.

“I HAVE A DREAM!” He said

We are talking about a generation of people who thought a show like “The Cosby’s” was unrealistic! A black doctor and a lawyer in one household? Perish the thought. Now, I am talking about what was believed within none other than, the black community. Growing up, I lived through a time when being black and educated was mocked and ridiculed. A time when smart wasn’t the coolest of things to be. I was labeled: an Aunt Tom, an Oreo a wannabe. Not to be out done by statements such as, “You Haitian Creation, go back to your Nation” or “ Hey, Frenchy voulez vous…? “

I am blessed and feel a special obligation to be of service.

To be able to say YES I CAN! YES YOU CAN! YES WE CAN! To be able to say it. Mean it.

Believe it...is nothing short of a PRIVILEDGE.

That I can work HARD and LONG and have it mean SOMETHING. To live my life with meaning, purpose and dedication means the world to me. The fact that My choices. My sacrifices. My families sacrifices changed the lives of my younger siblings just one generation over is ASTONISHING!

For that, I will brave the cold. I will deal with crowds. I will stand in line. I will be patient in the face of dishonor and humiliation because I know what I am fighting for. I know how to do nothing else. For those who say let go. It’s to hard. You can’t win. I say “YES I CAN!” “I HAVE A DREAM” and I am going to “KEEP GOING” until my last breath.

Martin Luther King did. Barack Obama did…and so can I, so can you.

Yes we can! Yes we did! And Yes we ARE.

Discouragement and depression are luxuries I can’t afford neither can you. There is too much at stake. I would like to criticize myself and others to a fault for what has not been yet done or mistakes that have been made, but time, energy and resources are better allocated elsewhere.

I am not alone in this. None of us are. My fight is your fight too... their fight too.. My dream is their dream. My hope their hope. Who? My brothers, my cousins, my parents, my niece, sister’s, my grandmother’s, my ancestors’ my friends, my students.

When kids in urban areas have only what the public school education system offers them. I have to be hopeful. In a country where Blacks make up 40% of the United States Prison Population though blacks make up 13% of the general population, I have to hope. As a result of this Presidency, there is now hope in places, hope did not previously visit. As a result of me there are smiles on faces where there once were none. So I must. Continue to hope.
Even today, I smirk when students say “Miss you sound white or Miss, you sound like a character from Harry Potter.” To fathom the explanation for a black woman who isn’t a low-class Jezebel. The concept perpetually to eludes them…and by them I mean children and adults alike.
An anomaly, a phenomenon of sorts. Something to be unpacked, deconstructed and psychoanalyzed.

Perhaps the need to be educated in my family was merely a formality to appease overbearing parents. Who knows? Nevertheless…

There as never been anything false about hope.

Some say Obama is too inspirational, that his rhetoric is of the heavens. That's what privilege is isn't it? When you are so unaffected by a thing, that you wouldn’t even notice if it were there or not. How important is inspiration? How important is hope? Ask those who do not have it! Those who struggle to stay safe. Alive. Sane. It's easy to face reality when it is the reality we want or desire. Isn't it?

It takes my breath away to know that "I" a daughter of two immigrants can be alive, at this time, to witness this RIGHT OF PASSAGE.

My parents, two school teachers decided to come to AMERICA and WORK HARD and I mean REALLY, REALLY, HARD to put themselves and their six children through college. They went to College themselves because they not only believed in leading by example, but that an education was the only way to gain equal footing in this society. This of course did not come without it's challenges. A sleuth of dead end- mediocre jobs, late night studying and several years later, they’ve accomplished what the set out to do . To be certain, my brothers will hopefully make more money than I, myself could ever dream of making and attend schools that I did not know existed at their age.
All this for a Dream. All this in pursuit… The pursuit of fairness and honor. A place in the world equal to that of the next person. This could not have been done without hope. There had to be a belief and a dream for something greater than their current station in life.

Could my ancestors have even imagined this moment? Is this what Martin Luther King meant when he said “I have been to the mountain top and my eyes have seen...? “
Within me is the blood of slaves. I imagine the same blood, that coursed through Harriet Tubman’s veins when something deep within her, against all odds said to “KEEP GOING!” The blood of my relatives. My parents’ blood.

It is with this faith, this dream and this hope that, I wake up each day put on my clothes and make the decision one more time to serve. From deep within me a force more powerful than myself like a momentous current continues to drive me forward. It is with that blessed assurance that I face the world each day. It is with this knowledge that nothing and I mean absolutely nothing will stand in my way when it comes to the pursuit of my dreams and my happiness.

I will fail. I will fall but, I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I fulfill every single DREAM.

This is my HOPE. This is my story. An American story.

I can't get to DC, but I'll be there in Spirit :)

Kathia celebrate for me too.

Visualize: The Butterfly

2009-02-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

"The butterfly's attractiveness derives not only from colors and symmetry: deeper motives contribute to it. We would not think them so beautiful if they did not fly, or if they flew straight and briskly like bees, or if they stung, or above all if they did not enact the perturbing mystery of metamorphosis: the latter assumes in our eyes the value of a badly decoded message, a symbol, a sign.” Primo levi

The butterfly doesn't spend its life regretting the time it spent eating trees. It stops its old pattern, get's quiet within its cocoon, and then breaks free to spend the next part of its life bringing joy and beauty to its world as it spreads its wings. We can crawl like a worm in the dirt or we can fly free, determining to never live in mud again. The caterpillar breaks free from it's self inflicted bindings. In the place of the beautiful, but destructive caterpillar emerges a marvelous moth. The most beautiful creatures of this world fly free from their cocoons because they unwrap their bindings. No one unwraps the bindings for them. Likewise, no one can unwrap your bindings for you. The experiences of your past, like those of a butterfly,can be used for good. Out of them you may develop empathy and understanding that will help you like the butterfly, spread joy and beauty. ~.~.~.~})ii({

Float on. Float on. Float on~ Signing off, The Underdog

Tartastic!

2009-02-22T14:18:00.000-08:00

For those Die Hard Foodies out there:

Pies, Tarts Cobblers, Crumbles, Grunts, Brown Bettys, Pandowdies, and Crisps may be called old-fashioned and homey but having a dessert of warm baked fruit topped with a tasty crust is hard to resist.

www.joyofbaking.com

Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack Review: Jai-Ho! Jai Ho! by A.R. Rahman

2009-02-22T05:13:00.000-08:00

"May You Win"

I was rejoicing when musical genius A R Rahman accepted the Oscar for Best Original Score for his music for Slumdog Millionaire during the 81st Academy Awards. A R Rahman has garnered such a great standing in Indian music that even before one listens to his song, one assumes it's a chartbuster. The latest track in the hit list of Rahman is Jai Ho from the Golden Globe winner Slumdog Millionare.

I didn't care for it at first, but with a vivacious, uplifting beat,that is high- energy and fast-paced due to it's lively tyko drum beats, seductive chants and lyrics that spring up at you, the song becomes truly infectious! It REALLY grows on you.

Jai-ho means "May you win!" Oddly enough,even before I knew the actual meaning of the words being sung, the passion and intensity with which Rahman sings, subtedly hints at something spiritually captivating. I was drawn to it. It felt as though, the message being channeled through the song was summoning forth some positive energy inside me.

"Well-known singer Sukhwinder, who has sung Jai ho from the film Slumdog, feels that Jai ho's popularity and victory is blessed by lord Shiva because it's not a song but a prayer.

"It connects me to the Almighty" He says.

His acclaimed music compositions have led TIME Magazine to declare him the "Mozart of Madras".
Looks like another seductive Bollywood hit!
Indian music has already a had magical effect at the Oscars." My feelings about life, the song and the movie can best be summed up in the final phrase of Rahman's Acceptance speech "...the song captures the essence of the film which is about optimist and the power of hope in our lives ...All my life, I've had a choice between hate and love. I chose love and I'm here!

"Win he did and may the victory also be yours!"

Food Cravings of The Moment!

2009-02-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

Tiramisu!

Grilled Pesto Panini!

Let's talk about Popovers for a minute. A Popover is a light buttery flaky roll baked until it swells and "POPS" over the top of the muffin tin while baking. There just delicious.

to try visit: www.popovercafe.com

Now, here is something I NEVER get tired of guacamole! Yum!
To try visit: www.doscaminos.com

I'm a die hard Foodie. I love tesxtures, flavors, exotic spices and aromas. I may start a food blog.

Signing off...
The Underdog.

POV: What can Rihanna teach us about domestic violence?

2009-02-22T03:11:00.000-08:00

After hearing some really ignorant comments from both teens and adults alike on this matter, I've decided to write a note.

I am genuinely beffuddled at the asinine reactions ranging from humor to blame from both men and women alike. The lack of respect for victims of violent crimes is abysmal at best stomach-churning, at worst.

Furthermore, people are actually taking sides.

Going as far as to even make excuses for something that should be crystal clear. A serious crime was commited and there should be a consequence.

It goes without saying that no one DESERVES to be violently attacked!

Are we animals? Is this even a debate?

Rihanna is NOT to Blame! On the contrary, Rihanna deserves praise for speaking up, chiefly in the harsh light of celebrity. She deserves the title of role model even more now for illustrating strength, courage and maturity in the midst of a terrible situation.

However, most corporations are run by men. Some of whom feel she should of kept quiet about her ordeal. These are so called "EDUCATED" and Wealthy people who think this way.

I find it quite disturbing that a victim of domestic violence, Rihanna, may lose endorsements due to violent, criminal behaviors committed against her.

How sad it is to think that the only way she could keep her endorsements secure would be to keep silent, as many victims of domestic violence do.

The implication is that the physical abuse was in some way her fault or she should be held accountable for it. What lesson is that for women who've been abused? Come forward to name your attacker and you too will be punished?

I hope commercial sponsors see this as an opportunity to support and empower women by encouraging Rihanna's endeavors, not having this incident define her in the future.

The PUBLIC

We're such an easy species to befriend and then disappoint. We love to build Stars up then tear them down. Only weeks ago these to were both highly-admired and well regarded super stars.

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but we do realize that being a high profile celebrity doesn’t spare them or suddenly make them immune to the social ills that plague the rest of us, uh right?

I heard it said this way, if there was an immortal being like Superman, or some masked crusader who helped fight crime, we'd first be all over his balls, and the second he ***up
We'd ostracize him and then make him go on T.V. and apologize to us.

These are human beings who have made some poor choices.

THINK IT COULDN’T HAPPEN TO YOU? Think again.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Domestic violence should not happen to anybody, ever period! The responsibility for the violence belongs to the abuser. It is not the victim's fault!

Everyone has the right to feel safe in a relationship. With help, people who are abusive can learn to be non-violent.

National Domestic Violence Statistics

Our society's tolerance of women being battered is glaringly obvious from the statistics:

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime

One third of female murder victims are killed by their intimate partner

Men's violence against women is the No. 1 cause of injury to women—surpassing even car accidents.

Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to police. Food for thought:

Women. Children and Pets are the scorned living things of this world. We treat them like second class citizens. I’ve deliberately listed women, children and pets in declining order to emphasize the degree by which they are voiceless and depend on us.

This could be your mother, sister or cousin. Perhaps it already IS and you just don’t know about it. Still not hitting close to home?

1 in 3 women have experienced or will experience this or some other form of abuse. Women who are strong, attractive, confident. It doesn’t matter. It’s about control.

Remember the Halle Berry Incident? People tried to blame her for Eric Benet’s betrayals and infidelity. Give me a break? Why is it always the victims fault?

Some issues transcend fame, fortune, beauty, race and even education. This is one of them.

Signing off,

The Underdog

Inspiration. Poise. Insight.

2009-02-21T14:41:00.000-08:00

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it."
- anais nin

The Source of my Inspiration

I've always been fairly optimistic for most of my life. I usually spring out of bed with a fair amount of enthusiastic energy. I'm guessing that this doesn't stem from the stark realization that I've already hit the "Quarter Life" milestone, but rather from an earlier and more innocent time in my life.

Some of my favorite memories are that of my early childhood, growing up in Haiti. Days then were long, lazy and sunny. I recollect, the endless hours of horseplay in a backyard which at the time, seemed to be more of an enchanted landscape for mischief, treasure hunts and invented affairs. My parents shared happy independent lives. They went to work. We went to school. We all communed at dinner table in the evenings with our different tales of the day. They smiled a lot back then. We the kids, laughed hard. My dad played the guitar on the porch at night, we drank lemonade. Days when the most serious thing we argued about was how unfair it was that dad always got the big piece of chicken.

I've effectively managed to teach myself to recapture these moments in times of turbulence. I try to remember to carry a pocket full of "that stuff" with me everywhere. As I arrived to a new and strange land called "America" It's as though, I made a silent promise to myself that I would take a little bit of what I was leaving behind along for the journey.

Now, I don't mean to get Peter Pan on you. I'm just saying there is a whimsical adventurer within me that is never too far from reach. If there was a theme song replaying in my head it would the Sound of Music's "I Have Confidence In Sunshine..."

I guess you have no choice, but to develop courage and character under some situations.

I changed schools every two years up until High School. This meant, I was forced to prove and redefine myself constantly in social groups. I have been to public and private schools both good and bad. I have been popular and unpopular. I've been a bully. I've been a victim. I've been forced to fight in order to defend myself. I've had more stuff than I knew what to do with, then almost nothing at all. I've been educated, miseducated and re-educated... up the wazoo.

I grew up in Brooklyn in the 80's when being Haitian wasn't cool. I attended what is now one of, if not THE WORST schools in Queens. Understand well, there is NO coming out of Crown Heights in the 80's and 90's not being a Fighter or Survivor. We are talking pre-gentrification clearly. I've learned to make lemons out of lemonade.

I am humbled to have any young person look to me with regard and esteem because I have shared in their struggle. I know what it's like to be young, frustrated, misunderstood. What it's like to be THe UNderdog.

Time and time in one form or another this question comes up for me. Where does your Inspiration come from? How do you know for sure what your doing is right? Well, I never do. I just listen to my instincts.

Just the other night a friend of 15 yers told me, that I am soothing like a warm glass of milk before bedtime. She added that, I always seem to have a knowing that there is a light, at the end of every tunnel. I had been inadvertently empowering others without even trying whenever I fearlessly approached my own life. Well I try. It's what I get paid to do. That which I would gladly do for free...Open minds and Hearts.

To say that I am truly blessed would be an understatement. It goes without fail, children in public places are always making silly faces at me. Elderly men and women speak to me comfortably, as if I were their daughter. When I go to museums and events people who seem to greet no one else gladly crack a smile when I pass by. Those who are lost always seem to ask me for directions. Whenever I go shopping, I am constantly getting "Excuse me young Lady can you help me?" It never seems to matter, what I am wearing or the store I'm in.
This list can go on and on. You get the idea. Now, I'm not doing anything special or important...OR so I thought.

All I'm doing is trying to be a decent human being. Maybe, just...maybe that might be enough. Enough to give others hope.

The underprivildged, scorned, voiceless seemed to be drawn to me like a magnet. I sure hope God continues to guide my path for all those who for whom I am a platform.

Whether this is a blessing or a curse ONLY time will tell.

Sgning off...
The Underdog